Up to speed?

Well are ya? Already back a week and have ya hit your peak yet? Staffrooms just love buzz words....two weeks off and it takes a week to get back 'up to speed' whatever that really means, don't ya just love them.

Talking of things you love....consultants! Now I worked quite a bit in a previous life with consultants and its good to know that the one today from the Education Authority was typically just as incompetent and useless as his salary is grossly over inflated. He was in to 'help' the ICT department with a marking strategy for a particular type of qualification. Now this qualification consists of an e-portfolio of evidence that the students make over about 18 months. The ICt dept are a little worried about students finishing putting this stuff together, ie the work has been mostly done but it needs to be evidenced in a particular way to get any marks. The advice was along the lines of getting the teacher to join it all together after the student has handed it in for marking to make sure the evidence matches the work done. Is it me? No, seriously, is it me being naive? I understand the conflict between being judges on results as the temptation to complete students work, ie cheat, but to have the EA's consultant offer this as best advice and practice......makes you think.

Starting to get a little worried now.....have applied for 6 jobs and not had a squeak back, although one is still ongoing. Suppose I can always big up my CV and exaggerate my importance...what else does it take to be a consultant?

Keep Aa'had

Just as I get started....

....then I'm stopped in my tracks by the Easter holidays. I know, I know I've only been at this lark for a few months but the way some teachers go on about recharging batteries and making sure they take the time off blah blah blah...its only 6 weeks since you last had a holiday! How do you think other hard working folk with their own long hours and daily stresses cope with only four weeks a year!! Still I'm not complaining, don't bite the hand that feeds and all that. Gail Godwin once remarked that "good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theatre". Whilst I disagree that only one fourth of my time is spent in preparation I do love the theatre bit, the actual standing in a class and delivering the lesson...that's where the real magic is.

So today I bit the bullet and registered with some teaching agencies, four in total. Not that I'm being pessimistic about getting a job but it can't hurt to cover more bases, can it? Forms duly filled in, 3 million proofs of address, status, identity, history, shoe size etc etc now make me eligible to be considered for supply work...woo hoo!

So Easter holidays, ok so I had four days off (counting the weekend), now its back to an albeit reduced work load. The next couple of days I intend to spend getting my standards files sorted out and in some semblance of order. Unless of course the sun comes out then I'm off to play golf, it is the holidays you know! Next week I plan to dedicate to getting my lesson plans sorted for the first couple of weeks back, 16 lesson plans & resources & differentiation & homework's & extensions & starters & plenaries & support staff directions & so it goes on, each and every week. That's as well as the four weekly meetings & odd cpd sessions & occasional extra briefings, between the 0830 start and 5pm finish, the contribution to extra curricular activities, the 2 formal lesson observations each week, the completely pointless large assignment for the University of Contempt.

You know something has to suffer......this time its the completely pointless assignment...I think I'll just make mine up.....it will attain the same bland mark and set of useless feedback they all have done this year. Feedback from Uni is along the lines of....."Would have liked to see this in more detail" on a proposal of 500 words. They are just crap at telling me how to improve anything I do, actually strike that, they are just generally crap. Still next week there will be anther survey to fill out about my experiences to allow the Uni to 'listen to the students' ...as if it makes a difference. On the upside now they have my email address I get 57 weekly offerings from the "dept with f*ck all to do except send out sh*t by email" such as free Chlamydia tests, chaplaincy coffee mornings, poxy student union elections (no I really don't give a flying f*ck if d*ckhead A or d*ckhead B gets elected as sports and sexual deviancy officer), new student wellness session, win a £5 'kin Argos voucher for this survey chance, a message from the faceless ivory tower dweller otherwise known as the vice chancellor, free stop smoking services......why don't you all just f off and leave me alone you mindless f'ing waste of my tuition fees.

And breathe....

Keep Aa'had

Still I should count myself lucky, I attend an " 'A' rated Secondary Teacher Training Provider". Rumour has it the 'A' rating is for procedures and form filling than actual teaching standards....now that makes sense, like everything else its just spin. Once you delve beneath the surface, and in this place the veneer is especially thin, you find out what its really like.